It is fashionable to deal with your emotions today. Is it really necessary? What for? Emotions are a very ancient and very primitive sensor that only those who are not used to using a more advanced system – the mind – are guided by.
Emotions are an auxiliary tool. If your mind fails you at some point, your emotions will start backing you up, thank them for that. But emotions are weaker than reason. The behavior of a drunk is a perfect illustration of the behavior of a person whose head is bad and who is guided only by emotions.
In fact, we really need emotions, but not all of them and not always. This is a very important question, so be careful now. I suggest that we divide all emotions into two classes, and call them left and right emotions.
Left emotions are the ones that control us. The right ones are the ones we control.
The left is the one that takes the place of our reason and forces us to do what they dictate. The right ones are those who obey us, serve our tasks as our assistants and tools.
Left-wing emotions get in the way. These are problematic and stupid emotions.
I have to go forward, but I'm afraid. I have to perform in front of people, and I'm worried. You need to smile, and I'm angry ... Damn, what kind of trouble is this?
But the right emotions are joy. This is the joy that we give to our loved ones, this is gratitude to those who honestly deserve it, this is admiration for what was created to steal our soul and send it up. And, of course, this is the everyday language of nonverbal communication: what words alone do not convey, our intonation, eloquent look and hands turned to the lovely interlocutor will tell us.
Well, you understand that there are emotions left and right. And now the main thing: do you need to understand your emotions, is it worth understanding them? Of course you do. But most likely, you have already sorted out all the important things with your emotions for a long time and additional efforts are no longer required from you. You're doing well. Don't create problems where there aren't any!
Let me explain.
If the emotion is right, then there is nothing to understand about it – it is your idea and your own creation. You just need to do it and adjust it as you go, choosing and expressing what will work more effectively for your task.
Really, how do you thank your wonderful employees? This must be done both from the heart and with the mind, here you need to think well, and inspiration is required. The art of gratitude is a great art! Master this art, practice your right emotions!
And if the emotion is left, then there is no need to deal with it either. Why do you need to understand it? It's unnecessary, you don't need it. Your task is only to notice it and replace it with the right emotion.
Being angry at yourself for your mistakes is stupid. Analyze your mistakes, analyze them, and fix the situation with enthusiasm. Turn on your enthusiasm!
Look at your emotions as your employees and learn to be their leader. A good Manager's employees don't ask him tasks, but work. Become a real leader-a leader of yourself, and put your soul in order. Emotion management should be in your hands.
Today, during the day, observe what emotions you live (you give) yourself and people (your relatives or your colleagues) near you. Based on the results of observations, make three lists:
- Left emotions
Name the left emotions, mark their duration, and think of a reasonable replacement for them. A substitute can be more reasonable emotions, or just reasonable actions.
- The right emotions
Analyze your right emotions: are you sure that your interlocutors understood them correctly? That this is what they wanted? Ask your interlocutors for feedback, make sure that your emotions are always on time, pleasant to people,and helpful.
- Controversial emotions
Of course, there are also controversial cases. Is it right to get upset if you think it's stupid, and others expect it from you? Should I play the Victim if it turns out to be an effective method of influence? There are many questions. Collect them and discuss them at Distance meetings.