House of happiness

"Of course, to accept a child means to love him not for the fact
that he is beautiful, smart, capable, excellent student, assistant, and so on,
but just for the fact that he's alive»

Professor Julia Gippenreiter

Of course, Cologne is a city of students and love. It was there, in Cologne, that I met the most striking example of sincere and unconditional love. I walked around the city like a lover on a first date, my head was spinning when I looked at the towers of Cologne Cathedral, but it didn't last long. I came as a student, I needed money, and I got a job with a German family to help with children.

I remember the incredible, almost shocking experience of meeting this house of happiness. I was met by a maid, and I walked along a well-kept path through a wonderful garden: a garden created for children! Here swings were invited to swing, there as if bright carousels had just stopped, next to them fascinating "climbs", there were also trampolines and a huge, huge sandbox. Wow! Here's the house. When I entered and closed the front door, I saw that I was in the world of toys. There were a lot of toys, toys were everywhere, so many toys I have not met before in any game center! Toys were interspersed with educational materials. Towers of colorful books beckoned to read, and collections of cartoons and children's films called to sit in front of the big screen. While the maid went to call the owners, I could not resist, sat down for a moment – and suddenly realized that I was in the world of a child's dream: there were sweets around me. Sweets in bright wrappers, chocolates with unprecedented fillings, cookies and other Goodies lay here and there in free availability. Sweets were any, sweets were many, sweets were everywhere.

"I'm in Paradise?" I thought. "Is this the house of happiness?"

"Guten tag!" - entered the friendly hosts, parents of children with whom I had to work. Nice people, even though their smiles are Hollywood-like. And tired eyes.

We talked for a few minutes, and I got an answer to this question. Or rather, I heard it. I heard it loud. Very loud!

It was the screeching of children. The shrill screeching of children went through the house, and my parents and I quickly went to the nursery. Two cute little angels with swollen faces were hysterical on the floor. "They don't like to go to bed," my mother explained. "We'll have to wait. Soon the protest itself will pass, they will get tired and go to bed. We love children unconditionally, it is impossible to force and force children." We waited, and my mother was right: the children were really tired and the hysteria stopped. But they didn't go to bed. They started eating candy, and when they were full, they started fighting.

I realized that there is no Paradise in the house of happiness.

Soon I felt like I was in hell...

I made friends with the girls, especially the one who was overweight. Another would be not to gain weight when the baby swallowed the sweet weight. My mother did not forbid my daughter anything. I was also forbidden to forbid anything to the child, because the suppression of desires will lead to diseases.

It was hard for me to look at the baby: loose hands, weak legs, big belly, here and there pits of cellulite-cellulite in five years! But I had to remember that a child is a person, and a person must be respected.

It seemed to me that two different personalities lived inside the girl. One person begged for help and asked to stop laziness and gluttony. But the other, on the contrary, continued to fill her mouth with sweets and hated the whole world. The girl hated herself. The girl hated children who called her "fat" and hated her own "loving" mother...

"Swaps devops!" – with his tired smile mom pulled the tights for the daughter, who was lying and kicking feet. "You're so beautiful! You have to love yourself for who you are!". "Dumpfe" - answered "beauty". Which translated from German, meant "stupid"... My mother continued to smile...

It often seemed to me that the little ones were very much waiting for their parents to stop their boundless "freedom" with their firm decision, help them cope with gluttony and teach them to follow at least basic rules. After all, you can't play anything without rules! But there were no rules in the house of happiness, it was forbidden to forbid anything to the girls, and it was impossible to force them. I have tried many times to get children interested in games, books, and sit down to draw-without success. The girls did something, but quickly lost interest in everything. At the slightest difficulty, they switched to sweets, and it was impossible to object to this: children are free, and we must accept them as they are.

I must say, I rarely saw children playing with toys, riding on swings and reading books. I rarely saw smiles and happy faces of girls. No, the carousels did not start the holiday, and all the things from the world of children's dreams were lying around, useless to anyone.

I tried to help the girls, but without success. I was never able to accept unconditional acceptance and three months later I ran away from the house of happiness without looking back. And I felt dizzy again when I looked at the towers of Cologne Cathedral…