Managing the intensity of emotion

Quite often you need to learn how to manage the level of emotion. After all, sometimes emotions are "too much", and sometimes "catastrophically little". For example, the excitement before the exam is a good example of "too much". And the uncertainty in front of him is "too little."

Demonstration.

Well, who wants to learn how to manage some of their emotions. Andrew, that's great. What is this emotion?

- Self-confidence.

Excellent. Feel it now.

- Yes.

Well, you can imagine the highest possible level of self-confidence. Well, when there is nothing left but confidence at all. Absolute confidence.

- I can imagine that…

That's enough for now. Let this maximum level be one hundred percent. The level of self-confidence that you can summon in yourself right now is how much? As a percentage?

- A little less than half.

And if as a percentage: thirty, thirty-three, forty-nine and a half?

- Well, I can't be so sure.

Approximately.

"About forty.

Excellent. Concentrate on that emotion again. Do fifty percent now.

- Yes.

Sixty.

- Yes.

Seventy.

-Yes.

- Eighty.

- Mm-hmm.

- Ninety.

- (HESITATES) Mm-hmm. Yes.

Good. Let's not take such big steps. Eighty-three percent isn't far from eighty, is it?

- Yes, it's close. I did it.

Well, then eighty-five percent will just work out for you?

- Mm-m. Yes.

And eighty-seven is even simpler.

- Yes.

Good. We're going for a record - ninety percent.

- Yes!

And ninety-three?

"Ninety-two!

Okay, let's stop there. Ninety-two percent! Great.

And now a little dictation. I will call the level as a percentage, and you set the desired state at yourself. Thirty, ... five,... ninety, ... sixty-three, ... eighty-six, ninety-nine.

- Oh, I've got ninety-nine right now!

Excellent. If it turned out to be ninety-nine, then it will turn out to be a hundred. You have a little bit left!

- YES!

Now go up and down the scale several times, from zero to almost a hundred, carefully marking these levels of emotions. Take as much time as you need.

- I did it.

Good. Thanks. A few questions. Andrew, what did this process give you?

- I have learned to manage confidence. It's like I have such a pen inside. I can twist it – and I get the right level.

Wonderful! Andrew, please imagine how you can use this in life?

- Well, for example, when communicating with the boss. Or with his wife. When I communicate with clients.

Did you like what happened?

- Yes, it's wonderful.

By steps

1. Emotion. Identify the emotion you want to learn how to control.

2. The scale. Define the scale within yourself. To do this, simply determine the maximum possible level of emotion as 100%. And determine what level of this emotion on this scale you have right now. It can be at least 1%.

3. Maximum level. Your task is to gradually increase the intensity of the state to reach one hundred percent level.

4. Travel on the scale. Carefully walk on a scale from zero to one hundred percent, in increments of three to five percent.

5. Generalization. Evaluate the process. What did he give you? How can you use the acquired skill in life?

Comments

Awareness gives control. But consciousness works well when there is an opportunity to measure something, to compare something. And evaluate. To name a figure, the number of percentages. This is where we do it. We create an internal scale, where the minimum is the level of emotion at zero, and the maximum is a rather large level of emotion, spontaneously chosen by a person.

- Can there be a level of emotion more than one hundred percent?

Can. We have now taken only a person's idea of the maximum. You have no idea what extremes people fall into in critical situations. But now we just need some fairly high level. To start from something and measure. As in the economy: the level of 1997 – 100%. 1998 – 95%. 2001 – 123%. And so on. Just need to fix something.

- And if a person takes too little level of emotion for one hundred percent?

Then he will simply have a scale on which he can regularly go beyond the figure of one hundred. Confidence is two hundred percent. Some people might like it!

Absolute numbers are absolutely not important here. The main thing is the control and management of the state, not the exact figure. It's very subjective - twenty-seven percent confidence, two hundred percent confidence. This is compared only within a person.

- Is it always possible to reach one hundred percent?

Consider that yes. We initially take the maximum possible level for one hundred percent. That is, it is initially assumed that it is achievable for this person, although it may take some effort to do this. Just think about it this way and you will succeed!

- Why was this dictation needed?

I wanted to deceive Andrew a little. The main obstacle on the way to the top is doubt. I distracted him a little, and he forgot to doubt. Sometimes this technique works, sometimes it doesn't.

Recommendations

When performing this exercise, it is enough to get access to the control in any form. That is, it is not necessary to realize what exactly a person is twisting inside himself. A metaphor is enough to explain. The only condition is that the student must really demonstrate a change in condition. A more accurate analysis will be in the following exercises and techniques.

The most common problems that arise when performing this exercise are difficulties with determining the extreme points, a sudden change in state.

If it is difficult for the student to imagine the extreme points, then you can invite him to experience the highest possible level of experience. When presenting, a person can only get very little access to the experience or even imagine what it looks like in other people. During the experience, he plunges into the state as much as possible. At the same time, you can help him with your own condition. Another option is the principle of the pendulum. To make a swing – first reduce, and then increase the state. This can be done several times until it is possible to reach the limit level.

If the student fails to reach the maximum, he can be reassured that this is not required here. Since the maximum is taken for the maximum possible state, and this is already an extreme. Let him try to reach his personal maximum at this stage.

In the event that this does not help, you can invite him to return to this exercise at the stage of decomposition of emotions into submodalities.

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