Автор: Н.И. Козлов


Working with emotions

Working with emotions is one of the ways of dealing with emotions, characteristic mainly of a soft and gentle female approach in psychotherapy. In this approach, it is considered that it is unproductive to deal with unwanted emotions, the thesis "There are no bad emotions" is often broadcast and it is proposed to accept any emotion first of all as a living being who cares about the client. Instead of a forceful approach to unwanted emotions, it is proposed to demonstrate a friendly and respectful approach to them, counting on reciprocity. Working with emotions assumes that any emotion is always something serious and significant, which cannot be simply dismissed and ignored; this is something that needs to be done seriously and most likely for a long time, since it is impossible to remove an emotion, and it is not easy to establish a relationship with it.

An employee can be fired, but children have to be brought up. This is, of course, a more difficult task.

Is it always necessary to treat unwanted emotions this way? Of course not. For example, serious respect for the fears of a child is not always justified. Sometimes a frightened child is best helped by a cheerful look and a cheerful voice of an adult: "Why are you afraid of such nonsense? Come on, I'll show you, it's not scary at all!" Excessive attention to emotions strengthens them, and sometimes the less attention to an unwanted emotion, the faster it passes.

Don't feed your fears with attention, and they will leave you.

If an unwanted and inappropriate emotion can simply be removed, it should be removed, and not bother with respect for her and long conversations with her, as is often done in deep psychotherapeutic work. Those mentally healthy and strong people who are closer to the male approach, more often choose to cope with an unwanted emotion, rather than work with it.

If unwanted emotions have surged (longing, resentment, fear, guilt) to consider them as occupiers, the most natural and simple solution is to drive them away from their native land. Remove longing, remove resentment, overcome fear, throw unnecessary guilt out of your head…

However, if direct methods of removing emotions do not help and an exhausting war with emotions begins, it is very useful to consider declaring a truce instead of war and starting with emotions, even sick and harmful, to work, talk, look for opportunities to make friends with them. Sometimes, especially in the short term, it brings good results. In the long run, it seems more justified not to be afraid of unwanted emotions, treat any emotions calmly and with understanding, but if necessary, have the resources to quickly restore order in the soul, including by force. In any case, it is more useful to learn to live in such a way as to prevent the appearance of unwanted emotions, and to set tasks more positively: not to remove unwanted emotions, but to form the right emotional state for yourself. Not to remove the feeling of guilt, but to put things in order in the head so that a person thinks not about guilt, but about business. Not to remove fears, but to strengthen the will and cultivate courage.

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